the beginning

OK....OK... I am not a blogger......yet. Maybe in this new journey I will find a new found love of the blogging world. I love looking at all of your creative and beautiful blogs, but never felt it to be in my comfort zone. I have decided it's time to change many things in my life so I will need all the support and accountability to answer to. I will promise to be utterly honest even if it hurts!! (me, cause I would die I hurt anyone else's feelings)

Well, here goes.

Many of you will wonder why my blog is titled "consciously naked" and it's not because I have found this new joy in nudity. Most of you that have seen me in the last few years are all secretly taking a sigh of relief...lol! I know because I am doing the same.

I have been sitting around in mommy depression land for the past few months, wondering why I feel like I am making nothing of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and love that I am privileged to be able to stay at home with them. But maybe some of you out there understand the "funk" that I sometimes find myself in when cleaning the SAME things everyday, and getting seemingly nothing accomplished when you are done. It just puts me in a Blah mood. I HATE that!! It then turns into trying to ignore most of it, followed by the frustration after a couple days when you have to conquer an even bigger mess. It drives me crazy to have it messy but the same to clean and see it get messy an hour later... and don't get me started on the never ending pile of laundry that never finds it's way into the baskets or the drawers! It is a never ending battle. The list however goes on. Aside from the cleaning, which gets done.....ugh,

I have my weight issue...ouch...that stings to say..

After playing years of competitive volleyball I would never thought that all this stinkin' baby weight would affect ME!!! I am sure I am not the only one, but come on!

I will never get used to it and that in itself may be the most depressing part!

I love the outdoors and being active. I literally CRAVE hard, blood-pumping, gasping-for-air, sweat-pouring exercise AND competition that I cannot seem to find satisfaction in, by going to the gym classes dancing goofily around to music. I find running in place or anywhere dreadfully boring...but secretly wished I loved it!

So, I find myself sitting on the couch with a million excuses to not get a ton done that day, and then it turns into the next day and then weeks.....

Now here I am hoping that if I have someone else to be accountable to, then I can make the changes I need to do what I want.

I am getting closer to the name part of this blog.....I promise!

Well, having very hot, skinny, beautiful sisters and a mom with a killer body in her...umm 40's...(sorry mom) I find it even harder to be happy with my health and body. I know exactly why I am fat. It isn't surprising. I don't exercise and I LOVE food!!! mmm! I love to cook it! I love to serve it and I love to eat it! I love making others happy through beautiful, delicious food. To me, it makes every occasion better, (or worse, depending on how good it is.)

Now after watching a few documentaries on food, I have come to a nasty realization that we are not really eating food...

It disturbed me enough to waltz down the health food section now and again, and read the labels on the food, but that only lasted a week or so and I was back to the norm of fast food and yummy tasting food. However, I was still haunted by the facts I have discovered and by the price I will have to pay financially for all this "health food."

I have prayed for motivation to do all that I need and be the best person I can and wasting my life away doing the bare minimum on my couch isn't enough for me. I would never do the minimum for someone else, so why treat myself that way!!

This isn't an easy task.

I am "consciously" taking on the task of ridding all the stress and crap out of my life.

By doing so I must become "naked" by stripping it all away and starting new. You will see more of this cute little pun as my days go on.

I know what I know and know that God has opened my mind after much prayer to ensure that I become the best me possible. So here I go....